Eurovision 2021 and my little thoughts on TIX

It’s been a while since I’ve taken any form of care of the website. I tried to rebuild it early last year but I totally gave up on learning a new WordPress template, despite it being absolutely gorgeous and “contemporary” looking. I will pick that up eventually.

This year is the 9th Eurovision that I have watched but it’s been 10 years since my first one, back when I was studying in Sweden. I remember seeing flags of Melodifestivalen all over the place in Stockholm not knowing what that is, and it was when a few of my corridor mates in Kungshamra sat together to watch the Eurovision final that year did I start this bizarre yearly ritual. Over the years I might have like one or two songs that really stood out to me as something incredibly well done, or the music video/performance really caught my eye. But this year I found myself having some different perspectives on what I’m listening and looking for.

The first time I listened through the songs I must say nothing really stood out to my ears (except for Iceland, but it was because Daði’s voice is simply distinct), but then some songs starts to hit me with some kind of bizarreness if you will, but more so is the sincerity that can be heard through the song. Without doubt, YouTube algorithm plays a role this time.

Remembering the first time I watched the performance in the Norweigian MGP, I was thinking like why would they choose a simple love song with such extravagant staging, and of course YouTube started to tell me I should watch his mini documentary and learn about who TIX really is. Not long after this music video came out and all I could say was that it is a brilliant and powerful performance, and I can easily spend hours just to talk about how much I’m fond of his voice (gosh he is an amazing singer and my close friends have all suffered through my exclamations), his story, and how he came out of depression and bullying, something that is clearly present in the recent three songs he wrote in a way that fits so well in the commercial paradigm at the same time. We probably cannot say his lyrics are sophisticated, but exactly because of that, it is so powerful: direct, heartfelt, and personal. I am having teary eyes thinking about his line in “Jeg vil ikke leve:”

Jeg vil ikke leve, men jeg vil ikke dø

TIX, “Jeg vil ikke leve”

I, together with many people who have suffered through depression, know exactly what he meant. I remember that many times when I have this feeling, and I said to my therapists, “I definitely have thought of picking up a knife, but I’m scared of blood and I don’t want to end my life.” Sometimes, simple words are the most powerful. And I guess that’s what makes TIX so very much loved.

Of course when you watch one, YouTube will make you watch more, and I’m fed with the behind-the-scenes vlog of this MV.

You cannot convince me that this MV is not magnificent, and god I hate copyright limits because I would splurge to buy his singles and even the MV. Back to “Fallen Angel,” I think nothing made the performance more meaningful when he took his glasses off (and screw licensing limits, I wish I could find a way to just watch the performance all day) mid-way in the performance and allows his ticks to be seen by one of the largest stage on the globe. And by now I am so familiar with the song that I can’t stop having teary eyes just thinking about the scene.

Perhaps I should really study the triptych in depth, but sometimes I wonder why music scholars have to study and “analyze” music like these to say things that are already known to the singer/writer and the music lovers, using a language that does not mean much to the ordinary people. That’s kind of my feeling when I presented my tiny project on Stanley Kwan’s Full Moon in New York last fall. What I have “close read” have been well analyzed by film critics in Chinese medium. Just because it has not been known to the Chinese film scholars, does not mean that I have contributed much to film studies by offering insights that have been written in layman’s terms with less specific language. Also, what does it mean to study music likes these and how to study them that is actually meaningful? The music itself is not the whole story, there is so much in the becoming of the song that makes the triptych so meaningful to the Norwegian audience and people who are willing to overcome the language barrier in order to get to know TIX better. Looking at the critics’ take on the song, it was clear to me that many thought this is merely a ballad with weird costume that takes the lyrics too literally. Yet they are the “industrial experts,” and apparently when you are a professional, you’re supposed to be taking “music for music sake.” But aren’t we all humans? We don’t listen to music out of context. Looking at some of the American crash guide to Eurovision, comments on many of the songs are simply … shallow and with a few basic Google search about *some but not all* artists barely involved.

Just like other Eurovision, sensual love longs and party songs are not lacking. I have never really cared about them and this year is no different. I think really, not many songs have really made an impression on me this year in terms of their musicality. But I’d say there are two songs that grew on me over the past few days because of the message. Tusse’s “Voices” is well produced and his voice and stage presence is amazing. Similar to TIX, I also really enjoyed how the song fits so well in the pop paradigm but the message within the song is much deeper than the surface-level words.

While also about diversity, I’m not as impressed by Jeangu Macrooy’s “Birth of a New Age.” I’m grateful to see that African heritage has been celebrated so well this year on the Eurovision stage, which is obviously highly gate-kept and predominantly white, but I am always more interested in hearing how paradigms are used to one’s own message that’s against the norm, rather than introducing the “exotic” element to celebrate diversity. To me, that’s the easy way. It is not necessarily tokenism, but that’s a shallower form of expression in my opinion.

Feminist messages seem to take weird or even harsh forms on the Eurovision stage and Manizha’s “Russian Woman” seems to follow the footsteps of Netta’s “Toy.” Extravagant staging, some sort of anger filled within, and something that creates a stark contrasts with the love songs on the same stage. I have not been enjoying the original staging, but it really took the revised performance in Eurovision (with the collage of women in the background in the chorus) to make the message alive. And since then the song has been growing on me despite my lack of interest in the more hip-hop-like sounds. Again, it takes contexts and lived experience for someone to enjoy a song, and it changes over time. Back to my first question, how are we supposed to critique music and one’s artistic expression? What does it mean to be music for music sake? Can studio production mean the same thing as live performance (or vice versa) when we make judgments on the music? What even is music, the question that haunts me forever?

I guess this will be the start of me writing more blogs and perhaps some more motivation to actually redesign my website? I have so many things I want to do and I am so confused about what my life is looking though.

Music by Women Festival 2019

It has been a little while since I attended an event as a composer. I still want to retain this really noble role that I have the privledge to play, so I submitted “A Star Ferry Ride” to this festival, and very fortunately, I have this honor to be part of the festivities.

It is not exactly an easy trip though. Somehow things have gotten really crazy and messy right before the trip and it is really risky to fly standby. Somehow I had the luck to board every flight my pilot friend booked for me, I guess my good fortune is now all consumed.

My drive from Birmingham to Columbus, MS was something I really needed at this point. In Minnesota it is still white and snowy, I needed the greenery and the sight of lively woods, even though I must have hated it so much driving through woods many times. As I arrived in MS with a basically exhausted and broken heart, I decided to take the night easy and just have some Southern home cooking that I don’t get to have back in the north. I stopped by Helen’s and I was a little confused about the sight I was seeing. There were many torn houses and bricks everywhere. The city just experienced a severe storm and this is so sad to see. Somehow the restaurant remains standing and intact, and I had some of the juiciest fried chicken, sweetest yams and collard greens ever. The family was also a great example of Southern hospitality. I didn’t do my homework, not realizing that they didn’t accept cards, Ms. Helen just let me go and told me to pay when I am back. I will always remember the conversation I have there. About food, about a family from CA to Chicago to the deep south, politics, religion (Islam and Judaism!) I forgot the fun and joy of talking to people with a very different background, and I love learning about grassroot knowledge. Being educated is amazing, but, it lacks genuinity sometimes. And being direct and straight-forward is a totally underrated merit. The next morning, as I was trying to make sure that I could go back home before a snow storm hits, I decided to take my morning a little easy as well. Stopping by a coffee house near the university and had an amazing cup of New Orleans-style coffee. It is so much better than Cafe du Monde, probably because of the cream and cinnamon, but hey, it is still way better. There I said it. The sausage cheddar muffin is equally amazing. I guess I will make some and freeze them.

I spent more than half a day at the festival, hearing a lot of really inspiring music. It is really a good reminder that there are so much good music, by men and women, everywhere. I just wished more people can hear these sounds and think more about different aspects of life. My piece was rehearsed for half an hour and then on stage. It was probably the best rendition I have heard so far. Not only because it is played by two really experienced performers, but also the hall’s acoustics. It works so well for tuba. I also have met some people who have really big ambition and are getting through the game called academia. We all are learning from each other, and have a female professional network. The sisterhood is quite beautiful I must say. There are quite a few presenters/composers that are returning participants. That’s something quite magical.

I had to cut the trip short so as to avoid cancellations because of the thunderstorms in MS/AL, and then snow in MN. Driving at 2 am was not fun but I somehow had the big luck to get on board for both flights when I was the last one on the standby list for both flights. I saw that people at the conference had to take shelter because of tornado warning, while it is snowing/raining outside my apartment…I’m on my way getting through the missed homework and back to the grind.

I missed composition for sure, I have signed up for a festival and will have a first try. Nothing is certain but I look forward to start something new.

Tallahassee-Minneapolis Part V

Day V: Des Moines – Minneapolis

Last leg. Good lord. Starting the day at La Mie, with a lot of real European-style pastry that satisfies my eyes. They are so gorgeous and I wish I had bought some more for breakfast. Well, I will work hard to bring myself to Des Moines again.

The drive to Minneapolis was nice and calm, but once I’m in the metro. Goodness, I’m just stuck in traffic forever and got lost between lanes all the time. Two weeks later it is still a problem. Also, Minneapolis can be hot. Moving boxes and boxes of things down and up the stairs was no joke. 

But I made it to Minneapolis, in an apartment which the floor is slanted every. Single. Inch. But I have an amazing location, I’m really close to Walker, and pretty close to downtown and uptown. I have no complaints about that at all. I also resolved to make this place somewhere I can be comfortably finish my dissertation, even if it is expensive. I want to have a place where it can be a great study area, and where my creative juice flows.

Day 6+: Settling in.

It has been 15 days since I moved in. Wow, it is almost half a month. I am still figuring out some of the small details in my life, as well as everything at school. At least, I have all of my paperwork completed, and all I need is to study for my diagnostics and skill tests. I am excited to see what I can do in the next few years, how I will work with Sumanth, and everything about my doctoral studies.

My apartment is built with almost everthing IKEA, and I’m proud of that. I like the setup, and hey it is at the end pretty closely related to Sweden. Why can’t I transplant the Swedish living style here? But no, IKEA food won’t enter this household. Not a chance.

I also made a very bold decision to buy a Shikibuton instead of the normal mattress as my bed. After the first long night of figuring out my furniture and internet, I was lying on this 3-inch think futon on the floor talking with one of my best friends in the midnight. I thought it would be uncomfortable, but you know what, it felt more and more comfy as I talked. When I woke up after like 6 hours of sleep, I felt the most rested for the last many years. And up till now, I only took a nap once. Comparing with the sleep quality in the past few years in the States, it is a significant improvement. I don’t stay asleep very well, but it will get there once school starts.

Through multiple channels, I have already met a lot of great people. I met a theatre organist/organ technician that brought me to a farm (!) to see a huge collection of carousel organs and my first hands-on experience on a theatre organ. I met the director of a local art venue. I met with a church pastor that supported my ideas so much and is so into experiment and creating meaningful experiences. I met Dr. Damschroder and learned that he walks to school. This place has been so wonderful to me. There are so many doors that have already opened for me and so many dreams that I wanted to realize without success that are becoming reality. I am just constantly at the edge of crying because of gratitude and happiness. Yes it will be busy and tough, but these few years will be amazing. I can’t wait to see what lies ahead.

Thank you for all the frustrations and sadness I experienced, without all of the experiences, this would not have been this bittersweet and wonderful. 

Tallahassee-Minneapolis Part IV

Day IV: LFK-Des Moines

Oh, Lawrence F*king Kansas. What a place.

I would have never thought that I missed this place so much until I lived in Tally. Visiting Lawrence in 16 was quite emotional. This is just the same. But this time I have seen slightly more people, and they all meant more to me than last time.

I left the motel early and had a little time to do a little campus tour. Lawrence is developing very fast. K-10 construction is done this time and now there is a byway instead of go through 23rd St. While I know my bearing, it feels weird to see how much it has changed. Lied Center is still the same, and probably Bales would still be exactly the same, so I didn’t bother. However, when I go down Irving Hill Road, I freaked out. The road became so wide and there were multiple huge science building complexes in the originally barren land. That scared me. Of course, there are also new student apartments building, everything just look so different. However, the sculpture of Ju Ming is still standing strong at where it has always been.

I still couldn’t believe that this belongs to KU, and both of my undergrad alma mater own the Taichi series. At CUHK, that is such a landmark and is the center of our campus life. It witnessed so many historical events, debates and movements. Here, this solo Taichi practitioner quietly experiencing the transformation of energy, witnessing the change of life in the exact same way. Every time I see it, I feel strangely peaceful, while it fuels me with some sense of urge to strive for social justice.

Dr. Pierce and I were supposed to meet at Alchemy coffee, and I went to the one that I always knew. However, I discovered that they have a downtown location now, so I went there instead. Well, I was right all along and Dr. Pierce were in the original shop waiting for me for 15 minutes. Seeing him was such an amazing feeling. Not only because he changed me life so tremendously, his spirituality also inspired me a lot. I still don’t know much about it but he is always so calm and filled with wonders. I still remember his parting words, he swore with such calmity. I told him a lot about the things I experienced in the last two years and how alive I finally felt when I got out of Florida, as well as the many ideas I have had for my doctorate. He also shared a lot of thoughts and his experience at the U of M. That was a brief meeting but that was so much needed. Just hearing from him and see his thinking and fascinated face made me believe that I am making some right choices, and my life is indeed exciting.

Then I met two friends from collegium and Dr. Pierce’s class. Talking about what we are doing and what are our next steps. The fact is that there are many more people who care about me than I am aware of. I need to remember that. Also, I don’t have to feel isolated, my support network is huge. My friends are also doing amazing and exciting things. We are a big family of great minds.

However, the development of LFK sacrifaced something, or it is still not as attractive as KC. Super sad that I could not visit hank charcuterie, nor Ingredient, my favorite restaurant in Lawrence downtown. That is a real loss for Lawrence.

Finally meeting Joe Scoonover. I barely knew him because of, again, Dr. Pierce. We played in the new music ensemble once together. I got to know him a little better after graduation, and he is such a talented guitarist, and I would love to know more about his music and thinking. It did not disappoint me, his vision on his music and art is tremendous. The fact that displaying colors and aesthetics is so important to him proves that the expression of ideas is so crucial to good art. We touched a little on music theory pedagogy, and unfortunately, I have seen so many people like him that are failed by our current way of approaching fundamental musical knowledge. Things have to change, not in terms of the content we deliever, but how we make the content relevant to today’s musicking.

The drive to Des Moines was peaceful and full of fields. Oh midwestern life. 

Tallahassee-Minneapolis Part III

Day III: Memphis – KC

I spent the morning struggling to decide whether I should visit the Sun Records or the Lorraine Hotel. Do I care if I visited where Elvis recorded? Not really. Therefore I just passed by Sun Records and went straight to Lorraine Hotel. 

The power of visiting historical landmarks were not the idea of having been there and can stamp on my travel passport. Being at where history happens and imagining what happened, how everything fell into place, and how everyone reacted to the history were the powerful reflection that will last for life. Just like visiting Ferguson and saw all the memorabilia, it reminds us that history happened and we should remember the lesson. 

Well, before people learned that, there are many reasons for everyone to go to the civil rights museum. The museum has a rich exhibition that needs a lot of time to absorb. Unfortunately I did not have much time to fully absorb. Fortunately, however, I have encountered many great teachers that informed me a lot of the things that happened. And I will never forget the photos of the Little Rock Nine being rejected. Standing behind the corner where Dr. King was assassinated was too haunting and powerful. That happened too suddenly, and so brutally. Yet, that evidence and the blood would forever be present. Nowadays, the injustice and violence is so virtual, and so hidden in so many minds.

Passing through Arkansas was quite an experience, there were so many hills and windy roads. I was constantly scared that my car would be out of control. Seeing the sign of entering Missouri was such an emotional experience. I almost felt like I returned home, though I barely worked in KCMO for a year. As I approached Kansas City my heart was just bursting for joy so wildly. I think I was almost insane as I smiled so much seeing places that looked familiar to me. Seeing KC downtown was such a heart-warming feeling. When I drove by Overland Park, yes the traffic was still quite a mess, but it felt familiar, it wasn’t like I did not know how to deal with it like everywhere else.

It was already 7 something when I headed for dinner, and of course I went to a place for KC Barbeque. Woodyard BBQ was amazing. The burnt ends was definitely the best I have ever had. Then I went back to the two jazz clubs that I used to go. I started with the Ship as they have an organ combo beginning at 8, though it took them forever to be ready. Then I headed to the Green Lady and heard the organ trio that I never liked. However, this night they killed it, and the organist sounded like nothing I remembered. Wow, I’m really depleted with good jazz. The KC groove is very different from the other two places. It is straight but laid back. There are also more variants on the roles of percussion. There was also more emphasis on melodic playing on guitar solo. 

In winter ’16 I visited Matt, and I intentionally returned to Green Lady in one of the nights, kind of reminisced some of the first days I visited that place. That was rough. I was so full of emotions and I couldn’t control my tears. However, for this time, I was so happy and excited to be back to the places that I had been and see great musicians in action. Yes there were a lot of memories that floated from my deep memory, but they transformed to something bittersweet. I think that means I have grown? There are still a lot of questions unanswered and I still would like to know what exactly happened. But does it really matter? I now can enjoy the music on my own and I have much deeper appreciation to the jazz musicians on the things they do. It seems like I can move forward with confidence. The fact, I was so happy to be able to groove again.


坐在Journeyman Coffee,本來想寫一點點曲子,寫了幾句,腦裡的想法很亂。想用文字寫下來。




28th birthday

I have not spent my two birthdays at FSU in Tallahassee. Last year, I did my first presentation at a student symposium at the University of Florida, and since then I have kept thinking a lot about “what is music analysis.” I still don’t really have an idea of what it is technically, but I will keep searching for a satisfying answer.

This year, I spent my birthday waiting at the Wilkes-Barre Scranton airport, after a night of premiere+performance at Lycoming College. A lot of things could have been done better, but nonetheless I have another thing I can put in my resume. It is also very nice to be able to reach out to a broader audience and hopefully I will have a chance to visit Lyco again. It also surprised me that a public elementary school in the area actually talks about world music instrument, and there is an app for them! (That said, the researcher me wonder why pipa and erhu are the two instruments that are used to represent Chinese music, oh well.)

I definitely enjoy talking to a public audience, I believe that introducing music to them does not need gimmicks, nor lowering the standard of scholarship. It can be as concise as needed, but sometimes a piece of strange knowledge might change someone’s perception of music in a big way.

In my less-than-24-hours stay in Williamsport and surroundings, I do have some great discovery. I enjoy seeing mountains and rivers so much, and it reminds me so much of the European landscape. For sure the architecture somewhat reminds me of that as well. There is something about old American towns that is really charming and unique. I also went to see the World of Little League, and the Steamtown National Site. I think in some way I am really interested in the industrial history of different countries, and how the industries shape an area, with a specific vibe.

Finally, Wegman’s rocks. Who knows that they have the best mochi in the States.

2017 Review

2017 couldn’t have been longer. There are many great things happened but at the same time my stress level couldn’t be higher. I am also discovering myself at  a deeper level, partially because of something that is really awful.

My spring semester at FSU was solely stress if not anything else. The classes I was taking were wearing me down at a very deep level. I was exhausted by the busy work and I was not able to think about things that keep me in graduate school. I have had many moments asking myself if I was doing the right thing. My teaching was going quite well, considering my students realized how much I cared for them. I also start to realize that many students experience things that are out of our imagination, and I become more affirmative that schooling is not the only way that gets them to success. A Star Ferry Ride is performed at the FSU Festival of New Music in February by Dr. Michael Casey and Brett Chittenden, and their performance is absolutely out of the world. I couldn’t have asked for a better interpretation.

I went home in May to take a much-needed break. I feel less and less connected to the city I grew up in, and the atmosphere in the city has changed so much. At the end of the year, when I heard more about the news from the town, and I look at the posts that most of my friends share, I wonder what else we can keep for our culture and city. I also question, why Chinese power like destruction of its own heritage so much? I also spent some time collecting old music scores and recordings of Cantonese music, hopefully some time in the future I can make use of them for some studies.

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression during summer, after many sad events. I am not sure if I truly have overcome what happened, but I am feeling stronger in terms of my ability to tackle problems in life.

The fall semester is strange. I decided not to take any theory classes but a private study, and I took up DSP again. I couldn’t have been happier as I do my individual studies, I have a lot of questions to offer, next year I am going to try to make peace with myself. I am once again reminded that DSP is a weird subject. For some unknown reason I can do the math, but I can never truly understand what is going on. I also took a class on medieval notation. It is a rough class, and i kept on asking why people back in those days don’t line up notes. But the last lecture my professor “preached” about how much they have influenced us, and how many questions they were asking are yet re-questioned by us these days. It make me tear up.

My car got towed once and my bike is now gone. Also, while my car did behave well for the whole year, right now its ignition is not working.

I also started the doctoral application process. Heard back from one school, noticed that I completely messed up the formatting of one of the writing samples as I edited (and am still editing), hoping more news would come soon.

2018 would be yet another year of change, but it will be much more exciting.

Sioux Falls and Omaha


住在Sioux Falls, SD的友人早前說要是要探望他就要在六月頭前找他,看看月曆,大約是五月尾最合適了吧。於是定了日子,順道看看Omaha, NE,找找風琴教授。這也是到Florida之前在Midwest的最後一次旅行。

只是…旅程剛開始就出了小意外。小車的Cruise Control失靈了。在高速公路駛了三個小時,在休憩站停泊時發現車有點難剎掣…park了以後引擎竟然開始以極速加速…嚇了一跳之後立刻關掉引擎,幸而車子沒大礙。平伏心情以後通了幾道電話,縮短了旅程(但其實…也許沒關係),再駛到Sioux Falls。IMG_1589

IMG_1585Sioux Falls據說是South Dakota的最大城鎮,但也許那兒比Overland Park更小。大部份主要地方距離Downtown都是在半小時步程之內。Downtown 有很多有特色的小店,但隔兩個街口就已經是金融區。說不上有甚麼特色。但為了見老朋友,足矣。這兒最大的景點大約是Falls Park吧。很明顯地,政府用了很多資源美化這公園,而這兒又真的很美麗。但是水是臭的,走近一點的話衣服就遭殃。IMG_1769

但探他的主要原因是看看Vermillion的National Music Museum。這小小的博物館在音樂圈子裡真的是有名。當中的展品有很多都是很罕見的樂器。有些很古怪,也有些很精緻。然而在這兒看到了一個未被平均律污染的琵琶和「代表香港」的古琴(…),真的是有點意外。但我和朋友最大的問號是:這些樂器很多都沒有機會弄出聲音來了,那不是很可惜麼?然而,一個「音樂博物館」,只有一部Portable Media Player在門口的gift shop播著用上其中一部fortepiano來錄製的CD,音樂的原素在哪?

回程是短暫留在Omaha,本來這應該是要多留一點時間的一站,但IMG_1997不同原因之下我只是留了幾個小時。教授載我四處走,才知道Warren Buffett就是在Omaha,而且他和太太和Buffett有過一面之緣。Omaha和Lincoln也給我很相似的印象-舊區很有工業的餘韻,而藝術在這兒很蓬勃。而Omaha也開始起飛了吧。對比起Kansas City,60-70年代的建築在這兒還是主數,但新式建築也在慢慢增加。

IMG_1884教授太太在St. Cecilia Cathedral工作,然而在這音樂主保的主教座堂,又怎會沒有音樂學校。那規模有點誇張。座堂裡的風琴也是很特別的一部琴。IMG_1888Pasi在設計時,把Well-tempered stops和mean tone stops設計在一起,所以風琴師可以按喜好用不同的調律演奏。一直覺得音律這回事很複雜,而它真的是很複雜,但聽起來,well-tempered和mean tone的確是兩回事,pure thirds聽起來真的很舒服。但限制也太多了。它…就留在復古的東西吧。

我在Omaha Zoo逗留了一會。魚還是我最愛的動物。其他展館真的不俗,但我真的沒太大興趣。這些日子很多友人貼了不少反對開設動物園的東西。我明白。看著動物們在有限、虛擬的空間生活實在令人不忍。但是,城市的小孩,沒有了動物園,畏首畏尾的家長們會讓孩子接近大自然麼?孩子們不看見這Biodiversity,會相信牠們處於危機麼?



Hon Ki, BMus in Composition, Organ and Theory


I really wasn’t planning on attending any of the commencement festivities, but Dr. Pierce said he needed to take a photo with me at the convocation, that’s why I have to be there. Receiving the notice of me graduating with distinction also surprised me a little. I thought about buying all those fancy ribbon and cords from Phi Kappa Phi, but eventually I forgot about it, but I still have a little something to decorate my black gown.

Anyways, I can say I am done with undergrad finally, (almost) officially. When Dr. Bergee said, “Your life will no longer be the same,” as I walked through the stage, it warmed my heart. Leaving KU is just the beginning a very long journey. I look forward to write a lot more music.

I don’t know how many times I thought about giving up and return to engineering in the last 4 years. How drastic my mind had changed every semester, this ride was really, really bumpy. At the same time, I totally felt that my physical energy is not as strong as I was when I was an engineer. I grew old, a little. I also realised that there are many facets of life, my world shouldn’t only be about work. I have to take care of myself, my family, my interests, and people I care.


And as always, Eurovision is such an important end-of-semester show for me. I like how the show is organized, and seeing Globen and the sights of Stockholm reminded me of the wonderful place and all the amazing experiences, as it opened once again my door to music and ignited my desire for explorations. How much I wish I could be there once again. While Ukraine got its crown in a rather drastic way (well, I really thought the EBU was trying to avoid the ESC going to Australia, after all), I am glad that they provided the world such a profound sound. Ukraine is the other place that had a profound impact on me, thanks to my church choir in Sweden which organized its annual trip to the painful country.

So much places for me to see and experience, too many things to write about and reflect on.